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I have always identified myself as a tall, sometimes blonde, intelligent female. I would like to think that I value my intellectual growth more than other aspects of myself. I hate working out, and I really can't stand taking the time to blow-dry or straighten my hair. My mind is my prized possession, and my passion for learning new things is something that I view as fundamental to my personal growth. But, somehow, I don't think that's what people first see in me.
I stand out. I always have, and I've learned from a very young age to manage attention from people of all walks. I've been much taller than my peers since I was able to walk, and my (natural) blonde hair was a source of pride as a kid. After that awkward stage of Jr. High, I started to get a lot more attention from those pesky Y chromosomes. I learned to adapt to a different type of attention, and I accepted it as a normal part of my life. Like many other women my age, I get some attention from males that is not quite wanted. For whatever reason, if I do not wish to get that kind of response from a person I attempt to remove myself from that situation. But some people feel entitled to continue even when the other party has tried to let them know that they are uncomfortable in that situation.
Now, a disclaimer. I have not been sexually abused or assaulted. I have had a very lucky existence, when 1 in 4 of my fellow college aged women are subjected to this kind of violence. I'm writing this post not because I want you to pity me for being a woman, but because it's so important to me that women are valued for more than their appearance. Women are treated in this manner, partly because we put so much emphasis on appearance. Are you thin enough? Do you have big enough breasts? Is your hair done? Do you have big eyes, red lips, a round butt, gap between your thighs, muscular calves, pedicured feet, and protruding collarbones? Cool. I don't, but good for you.
For just once, I would like to have someone strike up a conversation with me about what I've read recently, or what I think of the gun control conversation. Women deserve to be valued for what they think and what they do more than the way they dress or look. And yes, I know that's funny coming from me, since my future career is in costuming. But I can't get over the fact that my appearance dictates public opinion. I know that "more attractive" women will get jobs over seemingly less attractive ones by a fairly steady margin. And that kind of sucks, doesn't it? Do men go through that same stress of waiting for an interview, looking at all the men in the room who are more attractive, knowing they probably won't get the job? (Honestly, I'm wondering)
All in all, I'm so proud to be a woman. I love and respect myself: mind, body, and soul. And I'm so grateful for how far we've come in this world, and thankful for the women who have paved the way. However, we still have a long way to go. When people tell me that feminism is no longer necessary, I just can't get my head around it. We have so much more to do, and I'll do all I can to help. But what I do have to say to anyone reading is this:
You are more than your body.
This is interesting topic all around. Firstly, if it makes you feel any better, “For just once, I would like to have someone strike up a conversation with me about what I've read recently, or what I think of the gun control conversation” does not happen for males either. Trust me; I’ve tried these very conversation topics. Plot twist, no one has anything to say. However, ask them about Mac/PC or android/iphone and suddenly nobody can shut the hell up.
ReplyDelete“Do men go through that same stress of waiting for an interview, looking at all the men in the room who are more attractive, knowing they probably won't get the job?” Personally, I feel sorry for all the other gents in the room when I walk in. Who isn’t intimidated by these debonair good looks and marmoreal skin? In all seriousness, I have been turned down multiple times do to my appearance compared to other males. Sometimes, stores want attractive men as much as attractive women. It doesn’t matter that I can install Linux on a dead badger if I cannot attract customers with my gorgeous jaw or DD chest. It blows that society emphasizes so much of appearance, but it does and it will for a very long time. Image is pressed far too much. People idolize Marilyn Monroe, they quote her all the time, but at the end of the day it is because she “accomplished things” while looking good in a skirt. It’s sad that a major “role model” for women is most known for whoring around and saying “Sex is part of nature”. When was the last time you saw a tumblr picture of Susan B Anthony, or Jane Goodall? It’s depressing.
“You are more than your body.” That cannot be stressed enough, for anyone.
At first I thought the font was terrible, then I got to the captcha to post a comment...
I've always seen you as the tall, sometimes blonde, intelligent person named Carlee. Like you, I consider my mental growth more important than other aspects of my life. Especially my creativity. Thanks to my time in the Navy, I was more or less forced into regular physical activity, though I've never really been fond of it myself.
ReplyDeleteFrom what I have observed, the types of guys that relentlessly pursue women are either oblivious to hints or just all-around assholes. In the past, after I have made my feelings known to a lady and am turned down, I left it at that. It took maybe a week or two at first for me to get over the rejection, but I eventually got used to it and would move on the next day. Without trying to make things awkward, I would act as though I never said a word. More often than not, they would do the same(or so I assume). If there is someone not getting the point in your life, I say just tell them to leave you completely alone. In whichever way you so choose.
I have always valued the women that I have actual, positive relations with, whether family or friend. They may not see it, because I'm terrible at showing it, but the appreciation has always been there. I definitely consider you a good friend, Carlee. The emphasis on the physical image is solely from the way society has changed and become what it is today. Which is depressing, because it has only catalyzed inequality.
“For just once, I would like to have someone strike up a conversation with me about what I've read recently, or what I think of the gun control conversation.” In agreement with the poster above, I can attest to the lack of deep conversations. Maybe not necessarily just deep, but inclusive to current topics and issues. Most conversations I have had are trivial or introductory. The real meaningful conversations that I have had are few and far between, so I can understand where you are coming from with this.
As many people that know me are aware of, I had trouble for a long time finding a job before I finally got hired at Steak n' Shake. Not sure why exactly it was, but I had found myself losing out on being hired at the multitudes of places I applied for the same reason over and over. "We found someone else." Considering that I am a Veteran, I was never able to find out if they overlooked that fact. The stress of not being able to get a job anywhere for as long as I was unemployed was pretty heavy. Finally, not anymore.
I am truly glad that you are proud to be who you have always been: that tall, sometimes blonde, intelligent person named Carlee(Sorry for the cheesy). The fight for equality will never be an unnecessary one or no longer needed. I doubt our generation will live to see the day when all are truly equal, but I believe there are clear impacts being made these days.
Indeed, we are all more than just bodies.
Also, Captcha must die.
ReplyDelete